Dear Dazzle: Find a Mirror Holder

Dear Dazzle,

Find a mirror holder.  What the heck?

It is really easy to plug away day after day and not look in the mirror.  It is easy to think that everything looks good and you are achieving goals until that moment happens.  You really look and see that you are pretty off course from where you would like to be.  It is like looking in the magnifying mirror and seeing the wrinkles up close and personal.  It throws you off a bit but hopefully inspires you to go back on course.

If you are anything like me I avoided mirrors forever.  I hated what I saw in the mirror.  My reflection was never good enough. It was a physical thing for sure.  Nothing was ever good enough so I stopped looking.  It was that easy.  I can’t address what I don’t see.  Eventually a mirror holder showed up.  Someone held the mirror and made me look.  I couldn’t divert my eyes. I got to look at what I saw and oh boy – the time away hiding had really taken its toll.  It wasn’t just how much I had literally physically changed, but when I looked into the mirrors of my soul, it was empty.  I needed to fill up.

I will forever be grateful for the mirror holders in my life.  They are the ones that helped me get out of an abusive marriage.  They are the ones who showed me my business model was not going to work.  They showed me that I am not on track for what I want to achieve and are guiding me in a new direction.  The mirror holders are the ones that are showing me how to fill my soul and be whole and healed and successful.


There is another part of being a mirror holder.  Not only can they be the slap across the face to wake you up to life, but they can be your rear view mirror too. When we look in the mirror we only get to see one view.  If we want to see our back side then we can turn ourselves around and we can see it but then we can no longer see our front?  We only get a 180 degree view at best no matter what we try.  That is why it is so important to have another set of eyes holding the mirror for us to look in. With someone behind us who has a full 360 degree view, they can see the things that we can’t.  We suddenly have a full vantage point that helps us make informed choices.

We tell ourselves stories about what we see in the mirror – whether it is physical, emotional or entrepreneurial.  If that story is negative or untrue, and that is all we see, we can get into trouble fast.  The mirror holders help shed light on the stories we see so we can make a choice on whether that story serves us well or not.  If you don’t have a mirror holder in your life, I encourage you to find at least one.  Even if you have to hire that job out – actually I encourage you to do that at least once.  Honesty is paramount in a mirror holder.  If they are afraid to hurt your feelings and not speak the truth, they are only helping you hide.  You need truth.  Of course truth spoken in love is always more helpful. Sometimes that is hard to find in a friend or family member.

Okay dear, darling Dazzle! Be kind to yourself today and find a mirror holder! It is a beautiful practice of self love.

Shine on!

~ Sheila

Share Your Thoughts...

Tell us what you're thinking...
and oh, if you want a pic to show with your comment, go get a gravatar for free here!
Comments are moderated and may not appear immediately...