Dear Dazzle: Sit With It

Dear Dazzle,

copy-of-dear-dazzle-43Today I am asking you to do something hard.  If you are anything like me, you want something to change.  You want to see a positive result.  You want things to look shiny and successful and effortless.   I want all of those things too.  I also have come to understand that shiny, successful and effortless actually arrive with a pretty big price tag.  Usually that looks like the muck that we get to dive into to get to the other side.  We get to sit in it for a bit and learn what it is meant to teach us.

This doesn’t always have to apply to building a business or writing a book.  Right now I am experiencing this big time with my hair.  It has been really really short for forever and a day. I want to grow it out.  No big deal right?  None except that it looks like crap (ie like the MUCK in growing your biz) as it grows.  I love my stylist when I go see her, I complain about looking raggedy and not polished and all that stuff.  She just smiles and says, “If your goal is to grow it out, you are going to have to let it grow and make the best of what you’ve got.”  No way around it, I have got to sit with it!!!

So I get to be patient and let it grow.  Of course I am trying to hasten the growth by eating right and taking better care of myself so my hair will grow faster.  Other than that there really isn’t much I can do but just sit and wait. Thank God for hats and scarves.  I don’t love it, but it is just where it is right now.  I can let my frustration get the best of me and go cut it short again or I can practice patience with grace.  I can open up to what it is meant to teach me.

Really Sheila where is lesson in letting your hair grow?  Well for someone who has had profound body image issues, having any part of my body not look good is a really big deal.  It would be really easy to stay in the house and not go to events or not make videos anymore.  When I don’t feel like I look decent, then I just want to hide under the sheets and not engage with others.  I did that for many years and it rarely got me closer to any of my goals.  I didn’t grow my business or make connections.  I let the idea of not looking polished and perfect sideline me and stand in the way of success.

It wasn’t until I was sitting with the discomfort of letting my hair grow that I realized that so much more is growing than my hair right now.  Personal growth happens when we sit with our discomfort and don’t try to fix it.  It is a tough practice and if it gets easier, I don’t know when that will be.  I am still fairly new to the idea of letting myself sit in the muck.  I have learned this. The muck is like fertilizer for the soul.  It truly does help us grow.

So my soul is growing and so is my hair.  One of these days it will be cute again and I will get the opportunity to practice sitting with something else that is uncomfortable.

What are you sitting with right now? I would love it if you would share in the comments.

Shine On!



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